Friday, May 04, 2007

Movie Review: "Zoo"

Zoo has to be one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It is one of the most pretentious and boring movies ever. If you have any inclination toward suicide, watch this movie!

is a true story about a man who died from internal bleeding after having sex with a horse. Actually, the film is about the "zoophiles" who engaged in this. It is not really a documentary since everyone is an actor, but it is taken from several audio interviews.

Problem 1:

The music is horrible. It is overbearing and obviously intended to make you feel "poetic" or "haunting" as some asinine critics have said. There's no subtlety at all about the director's manipulation of his audience.

Problem 2:

One-half to 3/4 of the film is poorly lit or actually a black screen. I don't go to movies to watch a black screen. Again, this seems to be another manipulative device used to make the audience feel "moody".

Problem 3:

The whole film is one long monotone of audio interviews. Almost the entire film is a voice-over of interviews with the different people involved. That wouldn't be a big problem if there were actually something interesting to see. In this case, it would be better on radio.

Except, it wouldn't be better on radio. Almost every interview in this movie is dull. One interview in particular stands out: one of the actors is interviewed against a white background (finally) who talks on and on about nothing. He is pointless and the director insists on cutting his one scene up several times. Actor talking, black screen, actor talking, black screen, etc. No reason whatsoever for it.

Problem 4:

The acting is atrocious. While you're hearing the boring interviews you get to see the actors who make this film look like a parody of bad silent film melodramas. Every action is overdone, there are several moments in slow motion, tears abound. I've seen better acting in dramatic re-enactments.

Overall I would say--don't see this film. It is complete crap. And I have a bone to pick with some film reviewers. There seems to be several critics who say how "lyrical" and "poetic" and "daring" this film is. This is actually the kind of film that turns people off of independent or arty films. There are many good independent or art-house films out there. Don't waste your time with this.